Smokey's Dog Blog

I Move to Lake Alfred

2011-01-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

Well, if you're an alert reader, you may have noticed that my location has changed. I think this means we don't live in Lakeland anymore, now we live in Lake Alfred. This may not mean a whole lot to any of you, but it means a couple of things to me. Three things probably. Possibly four. OK, at least five.

1. We don't have the golf cart anymore so we don't get to go for golf cart rides. All my avid readers know how much we all loved our golf cart rides, but we don't live in a "park" like we did, so I guess we can't drive the golf cart on the streets here. So no more stories about dogs having heart attacks while chasing us. Bummer!!

2. We now have a fenced-in back yard. This is good news and bad news. It's good news if you really have to poo and you'd like some privacy to do it, cause Mom and Dad don't go out with us and Buttons is off doing her own thing, so you can go to a corner and poo in private if you want. The bad news is that once they throw your doggy butt out there, it may be hours before they remember to let you back into the house! Jeesh, sometimes I wonder if they have brains in their heads, ya know?

3. We eat off of paper plates now that our Mom tapes to the floor. Why, you ask? Well, there's this hard tile stuff in the kitchen where we chow down and our plates wouldn't stay put, so Mom's buddy suggested taping them to the floor. This is a good/bad thing too in that you get a nice clean plate every night and it doesn't move all over the place, but once we're done, Mom throws the plates in the trash (now there's an interesting subject) so we can't go back and lick on them later. I miss that too!

4. Buttons and I have our own bedroom here. Reasons this is a good thing: If Mom and/or Dad are snoring, we don't have to listen to it; if they start turning on lights in the middle of the night, we don't even know about it; if I'm having a really good dream and moaning and stuff, they don't yell at me to hush up. Reasons this is a bad thing: If there are spooky noises, we're all alone in there; if it storms, I'm afraid they won't hear me trying to claw my way out of my cage and come and save me; sometimes they make us sleep really late in the morning.

5. We have a new doggy friend next door. Well, actually I'm not sure if he's friend or foe. He comes out and barks at us and Button's flies around and barks back. They snarl and hiss and I try to stay out of the way but sometimes I admit, I do bark too. Of course, there's the fence between him and us, but it's still pretty invigorating.

Me!

So there you have it. Five things/differences/changes 'cause we moved.

I Eat Turkey Bones!

2010-01-03T15:41:00.000-05:00

Christmas and New Year's are over so I guess we're home to stay for awhile. It's cold and rainy out there today. Well, cold by Florida standards anyway. Around 50ish. We just got back from our Christmas trip to Indiana and it was cold and snowy up there and now everyone's sick!

Well, Buttons and I aren't sick, we're tough. But Dad and Mom are coughing their heads off! Apparently Mom can still smell though as she just told me I was a bit stinky! Not very nice of her, I'd have to say! I think I'll just try to steer clear of her for awhile so she doesn't decide to give me a b**h. (I don't know if you're allowed to say that word here since I consider it to be pretty bad!)

You may remember from my post after our return from Indiana in October that I mentioned we got into the trash and tore up tissues. This trip Buttons and I really outdid ourselves. We knocked over a kitchen chair plus the big kitchen waste basket and it had in it......(drum roll, please).....turkey bones!!

And they were fabulous! Just oozing taste and greasiness. I guess we chewed them up good enough because neither one of us got any perforated innards. I know, I know. I personally have never known any dog with perforated innards either, but Mom and Dad really know how to think of things to worry about! At least they didn't get REAL mad, probably because they were afraid if they got mad, and then we did have perforated innards, they'd feel really bad for screaming at us in our hour of pain.

The bad part was that after that they set the waste basket up on the counter where we couldn't reach it every time they left us. Boo!! How can a guy have any fun that way?

I Visit Indiana

2009-10-08T16:16:00.000-04:00

In case you've been wondering where I've been, I've been in Indiana visiting my people sisters and their families. We have our own little house up there, the "apartment" the people call it. Buttons and I stay there most of the time except when we get to go outside and run around. There are so many doggy smells in the yard, a pup could just go nuts.

Sometimes when we're in the apartment and no one is with us, we watch TV. I get bored with that though and then I like to have some fun. Once I got into a bag Mom left on the floor and tore some paper up and another time I tore up a box Dad had left on the floor. But the best thing is dumping the trash out and flinging old tissues all over the place. So much fun!!

We pooed on the floor a couple of times too. You know, you can only hold it so long and besides we get kind of upset when they don't come and pet us for awhile, so we just do it on the floor. We do go into the bathroom so what can they say? I just look cute after all this tissue tearing and pooing on the floor and then Mom doesn't get so mad about it.

We went to our other sister's house too and Buttons and I got to run around loose in her yard. There are lots of doggy smells there too. Sis has these HUGE dogs but she keeps them out of the way so they don't eat us. Yes, I said EAT US! They really could if they wanted to and I sort of think they do want to. Anyway, our people sis actually chased us around the yard. Her grass is nice too, short and thin-like so it doesn't tickle your tummy so much.

Mom took some pictures while we were in Indiana so I'll try to get her to add some on here. I hid under the bed when she tried to take mine. All those flashing lights bug me! But now we're back in Florida and they haven't mowed the grass so it's almost over my tail. We did get to go for a golf cart ride already though.

OK, back to my nap. That long car ride to Florida really takes it out of a guy!

I Talk About Laminate Floors

2009-09-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

Hi, Dog Lovers! Today I want to discuss laminate flooring. (Big words for a little dog, I suppose you're thinking.) This stuff is way cool. You can slide for a mile on it! Buttons doesn't really like it as she doesn't like to slide I guess. I've slid into the coffee table, the wall, the back of Mom's legs and the couch so far.

It's kind of hard to get started running since those little tootsies just slide around under you. Mom says it's like trying to run in a dream. I don't know about that. They say I do a lot of barking and yipping and moaning in my sleep so maybe I'm dreaming about running on laminate, I just don't know!

Another thing nice about it is you can be sick all over the place and no one gets mad! I guess this is because Mom can just wipe it up and it's clean again. When we do gross stuff on the carpet, she hauls out all these bottles and cans and wet rags and fusses for an hour over it.

The bad news is you can't sneak up on people or sleeping dogs either. Our toenails make noise when we walk, so you can't get away with anything. Bottom line, stick to being sneaky where there's carpet!

I Get a New Look for my Blog

2009-09-12T20:24:00.000-04:00

Finally, my Mom got her act together and found a new look for my blog. Don't you just love it? Except for that cat in the corner. But I guess he comes with the territory 'cause Mom says, "Put up with it, there's nothing I can do about it."

I really like it otherwise though. It makes me think of rolling in nice soft grass, not this scratchy, stiff stuff that people in Florida call grass. It's really weeds and everyone hates it, but I guess it's cheap and you can't kill it. Believe me, I pee all over it trying to turn it brown and it just sits there. Buttons does too and she hasn't had any better luck than me.

Sometimes Buttons will whisper to me, "Let's get Mom to take us out so we can work on killing some of that grass." So she rings the bells and out we go and water everything down and not one blade turns brown. It's kind of scary.

Now that my eyes are better, I'm going to have to get another haircut on Monday. Mom will probably take my picture when I get back so I can post it here for everyone to see how great I look in my new do. I'm going to a new groomer this time so maybe I'll like her better. The old one was OK but there were lots of dogs running around in there and that's kind of scary. Of course, the whole thing is scary, what can I say.

Mom tried and tried tonight to get me to take my pill, but I kept spitting it out. She's so funny. She kept trying to hide it in a little ball of food but I'd just drop the whole thing on the floor, sort the pill out, and eat the food. Then she decided she'd put the pill in the bowl with my food. But I still was able to sort it out and leave it in the bottom of the bowl. She even cut up a real people hot dog and stuck it in there and I spit it out! The pill finally melted down to almost nothing so I ate the crazy thing. Just to get Mom off the hook.

Gotta love that woman, she tries her best.

I Have Sick Eyes

2009-09-11T17:07:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I haven't posted on here for a long time. Actually I've been sick. Not that long but for 2 or 3 weeks now I guess. The vet guy (who has more hair on his face than I do, by the way) says that hair gets in between my eyes and rubs on my eyeballs (a hairy eyeball, if you will) and then when I blink my big brown eyes, it irritates them and I wind up with infected hairy eyeballs. Just great!

So Mom and Dad took me to this vet guy (the one with all the hair on his chin) and he took me away from them. I was scared out of my sox. And this is after another person tried to put some little stick up my behind to see if I had a temperature. Of course, I have a temperature, I'm alive arent' I? Geesh! What will they think of next?

Oh. Well. Now Mom says this person wanted to see if I had a fever. Still, I didn't like what she wanted to do with that little stick so I stuck my tail tight between my legs and grrred at her a bit and I just never have the nerve to do that, especially to people I don't even know. But do you know what? It worked and she left my tail alone! Whew!!!

So anyway, then the vet and this person took me down the hall and gave me a shot and the next thing I know, I'm lolling around with my tongue hanging out of my mouth, my face is all shaved and they're putting drops of glunk in my hairy eyeballs. It was horrible. Even worse than getting groomed, if you can imagine that.

And it didn't stop there. He gave Mom and Dad some of those drops and wanted them to drip them into my eyeballs all week long, all day long. But I flipped and flopped around so much the drops got all over the place instead of into my eyes. Heehee!

Now Mom wants to go to bed so I'll have to finish this story in another post I guess. It'll keep you on the edges of your seats, believe me. Buttons never has these problems. Guess it's the price I have to pay for being the most adorable Shih Tzu there is.

I Get Chased by a Dog Having a Heart Attack

2009-08-09T20:47:00.000-04:00

I've mostly just been chillin' out today, which isn't easy since the temperatures have been around 100 degrees again today. I live in Florida, you know, and even though Mom says it hasn't been that hot anywhere else, it's been really hot here.

I also don't like the way the grass grows so fast this time of year. It's clear up under my tummy and when I hike my leg to do my job, it tickles me. AND I HATE IT!!!

Anyway, we did go for our golf cart ride but it got really cloudy, and I just knew it was going to storm. I crawled up Mom's chest and stuck my face in her armpit to save myself. So Dad drove us home, a dog chased us, it was just horrible. At least we made it home before it rained though. Whew.

OK, you're probably wondering why this dog chased us. Well, he was out in a bare spot along the side of the road with his Dad who had his arm in a sling (the goofy dog probably pulled his shoulder out of joint pulling on his leash). He was some big silly-looking pug kind of a thing with big bulging eyes and a lolling tongue, and I really thought he might have a heart attack right there in the middle of the street.

So I don't know if he saw Buttons and me in the cart with Mom and Dad or if he would just chase any old cart that came along. He did chase us though and he didn't even have a leash on! Oh, My, Gosh!! That is such a bad thing to be doing when you're outside. I ALWAYS have my leash on and so does Buttons when we go outdoors.

Of course, Buttons wanted to bark and jump around but Dad held onto her, and I was too scared to do anything. This monster was right there at the front wheel of the cart on MY side so you can imagine how scary it all was. He chased us until he was right on the verge of the heart attack - you could almost see his bulgy eyes rolling back in his head - and then he quit and his Dad called him back.

So, as you can see, even an innocent golf cart ride can turn into a very harrowing experience! But I love these rides so much, I'm not going to stay home. I'll just have to be brave and hide in Mom's armpit if the going gets too rough!

I Had Visitors

2009-08-07T23:50:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. We had visitors for two weeks. All these little kids running around. It was more than a dog could handle. I hid under the furniture as much as I could, but of course I did have to come out now and then to see my Mom and eat a little bit.

They did pet me some which was nice. And Dad still took us for our golf cart rides although sometimes they were kind of short because my people sister needed the cart to go to the pool. I wonder if I'd like the pool???

Anyway, they went back where they came from and took the little kids with them so we're all here by ourselves again.

I Shiver and Shake

2009-06-28T23:56:00.000-04:00

Hi, all, there's been lots of storms here the last few weeks and trust me, I'm not a happy camper when it's storming. I can feel it coming a long time before it gets here, and I try to warn everyone but they just say, "Oh, Smokey, relax, it's alright."

But it's not alright! I want them to cuddle me but then I want them to let me go and then I want them to talk to me and then I want them to hide me in the closet and then I want them to kiss me and on and on. I try to climb up on their necks to get away but it's not possible!

Then the rain comes and that makes it even worse. I don't see how they stand it. These people, and Buttons too, just act like it's nothing! Don't they realize they could DIE!!! We could all be struck by lightning or washed away in a big flood. There could be a tornado or a hurricane. After all we live in Florida, where hurricanes love to come by, plus it's the lightning capital of the United States.

Well, there I go, getting myself all shook up and it's not even storming right now. I just know there'll be another one coming around the next corner though and I get scared just thinking about it. I'm going to bed now and cover up my head. I can hide in the corner of my bed cage but if it starts thundering in the middle of the night or early in the morning, I'll start scratching and they'd better pay attention. I actually got to sleep in the big bed with Mom and Dad one night when it was storming. I guess that wasn't too bad.

I Love Golf Cart Rides

2009-05-19T10:48:00.001-04:00

People, I'm really sorry that I haven't been bloggin for you much lately. Mom's been so busy with her other 'puter stuff that she hasn't had time to help me, I guess.

There's really not been much happening anyway. It rained all day yesterday and we didn't even get to go for our golf cart ride at all. Dad put a little gate up on the back of the back seat of the cart so Buttons and I get to ride back there by ourselves now. We can see out a lot better. Buttons gets goofy sometimes and wants to bark at other dogs though and that makes Mom and Dad upset with her. I just keep my mouth shut!!

It's rainy again today. We got all wet when we went out for our first little tinkle of the day. So I don't know if we'll get to ride in the cart today or not. It's cold too, only 68 degrees. And this is Florida, by gosh!

We saw a big snake on the road last week when we were riding around. Dad said it was a water mocassin. It might have been fun to play with it. Poke at it a little, you know. Dad and Mom didn't seem to think so though so we stayed in the cart.

OK, I'm outa here. Have a good day!

I Keep My Collar

2009-04-19T21:33:00.001-04:00

Buttons got a new harness today! I didn't get one and I'm glad because it looks pretty uncomfortable. It goes around her like a belt kind of and between her arms (I call them arms but I guess they could be front legs if you prefer to think of yourself as a dog, but that's a whole other tail, I mean tale).

Anyway, she's white and the harness is black. Dad wanted a red one but the store didn't have them in her size in red. They had green but Dad doesn't like green all that well I think.

So I have my old red collar and I'm quite happy with it. It's great for hooking the leash to so we can go out and poo. Mom and Dad also hook us to leashes that are hooked to the golf cart when we go riding so we don't go flying out and land on our heads. I did fall off the seat once but I stayed in the cart. Whew! I was looking at another pup walking on the street and wasn't paying attention to how close to the edge of the seat I was and whoops, down I went!

Excuse me................................

Well, Buttons had to go out so Mom took us. It was dark out there and the grass is starting to get wet but Mom made us go out and weewee anywee, um anyway. I hate having to go in the wet grass. I could stand at the edge and hoist my leg up and let fly out into the grass but I tend to tip over when I try doing stunts like that so I guess I'll just have to get my feet wet.

I Drive the Golf Cart

2009-04-17T18:07:00.000-04:00

Gotcha!! I don't really drive the golf cart. I think it would be fun though and if Mom or Dad would let me, I'd love to try.

I do ride in the golf cart and it's tons of fun. Buttons likes it too. I usually sit on Mom's lap so the wind can blow through my ears and I can see what's going on. Dad drives so no one can really sit on his lap. You can kind of lean on his lap but then if he has to put his foot on the brake, you wind up with your noggin running into the bottom of the steering wheel which is not a pleasant thing to do. Believe me, I know!

I don't play golf, neither does Buttons. Mom and Dad do but I don't think they're very good at it from what I hear them saying about it. They seem to spend a lot of time in the woods and what they call "at the beach". Now to me "the beach" is where the ocean is but I don't think it's the same thing when you're playing golf.

I'd really like to get my mouth around some of those little white balls they play with, but they won't let us have them. They look like they'd be great to toss around the big room where Mom and Dad eat.

Oh, well, we do have some balls that are bigger and sort of fuzzy. We throw them around or just try to chew them up. All that fuzz though is kind of gross in your mouth.

I Get a New Do

2009-04-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I had to go to the groomers and get another new do. Mom doesn't think they did it quite right this time. I look like I'm all ears, for gosh sakes! And my eyes look REAL big.

I get all nervous when I have to go there. There are lots of other nervous dogs there too and we all cry some. It's pretty pitiful, I'll tell you.

When they're done snipping and chopping, they put this goofy bandana around your neck. Mine was red and white stripes this time. The girly girl dogs get bows in their ears. I really would rather have a bow but I guess I don't have a choice. Since I'm a boy I get the bandana. And I don't get my nails painted either. Trimmed, yes, painted, no.

Speaking of trimming my nails, that's another horrible experience. I really get nervous when they start messing around with my feet! I guess it doesn't hurt, but it could, ya know? It's like when they want to do your tummy and that other stuff under there and I don't mean my armpits either!

And the tail! They trim the fur real close up around the, well, you know, and then they let it be long out towards the end. Of course, Mom always wants to comb the long part of my tail and my ears too, when we get home. It's just a thing with her. She doesn't like snarly fur.

Well, at least it's over now for a couple of months, whatever that means, and I'm back home with Buttons and Mom and Dad. You know, they actually spend money for this hair cut thing. Good money that they could be spending on dog treats!

I Learn to Fly

2009-04-15T14:28:00.000-04:00

We had some excitement yesterday. Mom was carrying me down the front steps so we could go for a ride in the van and she fell down, splat!!, on the wet driveway.

I flew through the air and tried to hide under the van while Mom said bad words and tried to get up. Dad finally came and put me in the van. I think they were afraid I would run off but I just wanted to hide!

Anyway, Mom clonked her head on the side of the van but I guess she's OK. She didn't bleed or anything and she still looks the same. She keeps rubbing her butt though and telling Dad it hurts.

Poor Mom. I tried to get her to go out the back door but she made me go out the front with her. If we'd gone out the back she would have seen the wet cement and wouldn't have fallen. Silly Mom!

HI!

2009-04-10T00:15:00.000-04:00

Hi, my name is Smokey! Welcome to my new blog. My Mom just finished setting it up for me and now I can let everyone know what it's like to lead a dog's life in Florida.

First though, I'm going to have her find me a new template with some doggy looking stuff on it. This one just isn't me! What can I say.