I Move to Lake Alfred

Well, if you're an alert reader, you may have noticed that my location has changed. I think this means we don't live in Lakeland anymore, now we live in Lake Alfred. This may not mean a whole lot to any of you, but it means a couple of things to me. Three things probably. Possibly four. OK, at least five.

1. We don't have the golf cart anymore so we don't get to go for golf cart rides. All my avid readers know how much we all loved our golf cart rides, but we don't live in a "park" like we did, so I guess we can't drive the golf cart on the streets here. So no more stories about dogs having heart attacks while chasing us. Bummer!!

2. We now have a fenced-in back yard. This is good news and bad news. It's good news if you really have to poo and you'd like some privacy to do it, cause Mom and Dad don't go out with us and Buttons is off doing her own thing, so you can go to a corner and poo in private if you want. The bad news is that once they throw your doggy butt out there, it may be hours before they remember to let you back into the house! Jeesh, sometimes I wonder if they have brains in their heads, ya know?

3. We eat off of paper plates now that our Mom tapes to the floor. Why, you ask? Well, there's this hard tile stuff in the kitchen where we chow down and our plates wouldn't stay put, so Mom's buddy suggested taping them to the floor. This is a good/bad thing too in that you get a nice clean plate every night and it doesn't move all over the place, but once we're done, Mom throws the plates in the trash (now there's an interesting subject) so we can't go back and lick on them later. I miss that too!

4. Buttons and I have our own bedroom here. Reasons this is a good thing: If Mom and/or Dad are snoring, we don't have to listen to it; if they start turning on lights in the middle of the night, we don't even know about it; if I'm having a really good dream and moaning and stuff, they don't yell at me to hush up. Reasons this is a bad thing: If there are spooky noises, we're all alone in there; if it storms, I'm afraid they won't hear me trying to claw my way out of my cage and come and save me; sometimes they make us sleep really late in the morning.

5. We have a new doggy friend next door. Well, actually I'm not sure if he's friend or foe. He comes out and barks at us and Button's flies around and barks back. They snarl and hiss and I try to stay out of the way but sometimes I admit, I do bark too. Of course, there's the fence between him and us, but it's still pretty invigorating.

Me!

So there you have it. Five things/differences/changes 'cause we moved. 

I Eat Turkey Bones!

Christmas and New Year's are over so I guess we're home to stay for awhile. It's cold and rainy out there today. Well, cold by Florida standards anyway. Around 50ish. We just got back from our Christmas trip to Indiana and it was cold and snowy up there and now everyone's sick!

Well, Buttons and I aren't sick, we're tough. But Dad and Mom are coughing their heads off! Apparently Mom can still smell though as she just told me I was a bit stinky! Not very nice of her, I'd have to say! I think I'll just try to steer clear of her for awhile so she doesn't decide to give me a b**h. (I don't know if you're allowed to say that word here since I consider it to be pretty bad!)

You may remember from my post after our return from Indiana in October that I mentioned we got into the trash and tore up tissues. This trip Buttons and I really outdid ourselves. We knocked over a kitchen chair plus the big kitchen waste basket and it had in it......(drum roll, please).....turkey bones!!

And they were fabulous! Just oozing taste and greasiness. I guess we chewed them up good enough because neither one of us got any perforated innards. I know, I know. I personally have never known any dog with perforated innards either, but Mom and Dad really know how to think of things to worry about! At least they didn't get REAL mad, probably because they were afraid if they got mad, and then we did have perforated innards, they'd feel really bad for screaming at us in our hour of pain.

The bad part was that after that they set the waste basket up on the counter where we couldn't reach it every time they left us. Boo!! How can a guy have any fun that way?

I Visit Indiana

In case you've been wondering where I've been, I've been in Indiana visiting my people sisters and their families. We have our own little house up there, the "apartment" the people call it. Buttons and I stay there most of the time except when we get to go outside and run around. There are so many doggy smells in the yard, a pup could just go nuts.

Sometimes when we're in the apartment and no one is with us, we watch TV. I get bored with that though and then I like to have some fun. Once I got into a bag Mom left on the floor and tore some paper up and another time I tore up a box Dad had left on the floor. But the best thing is dumping the trash out and flinging old tissues all over the place. So much fun!!

We pooed on the floor a couple of times too. You know, you can only hold it so long and besides we get kind of upset when they don't come and pet us for awhile, so we just do it on the floor. We do go into the bathroom so what can they say? I just look cute after all this tissue tearing and pooing on the floor and then Mom doesn't get so mad about it.

We went to our other sister's house too and Buttons and I got to run around loose in her yard. There are lots of doggy smells there too. Sis has these HUGE dogs but she keeps them out of the way so they don't eat us. Yes, I said EAT US! They really could if they wanted to and I sort of think they do want to. Anyway, our people sis actually chased us around the yard. Her grass is nice too, short and thin-like so it doesn't tickle your tummy so much.

Mom took some pictures while we were in Indiana so I'll try to get her to add some on here. I hid under the bed when she tried to take mine. All those flashing lights bug me! But now we're back in Florida and they haven't mowed the grass so it's almost over my tail. We did get to go for a golf cart ride already though.

OK, back to  my nap. That long car ride to Florida really takes it out of a guy!

I Talk About Laminate Floors

Hi, Dog Lovers! Today I want to discuss laminate flooring. (Big words for a little dog, I suppose you're thinking.) This stuff is way cool. You can slide for a mile on it! Buttons doesn't really like it as she doesn't like to slide I guess. I've slid into the coffee table, the wall, the back of Mom's legs and the couch so far.

It's kind of hard to get started running since those little tootsies just slide around under you. Mom says it's like trying to run in a dream. I don't know about that. They say I do a lot of barking and yipping and moaning in my sleep so maybe I'm dreaming about running on laminate, I just don't know!

Another thing nice about it is you can be sick all over the place and no one gets mad! I guess this is because Mom can just wipe it up and it's clean again. When we do gross stuff on the carpet, she hauls out all these bottles and cans and wet rags and fusses for an hour over it.

The bad news is you can't sneak up on people or sleeping dogs either. Our toenails make noise when we walk, so you can't get away with anything. Bottom line, stick to being sneaky where there's carpet!

I Get a New Look for my Blog

Finally, my Mom got her act together and found a new look for my blog. Don't you just love it? Except for that cat in the corner. But I guess he comes with the territory 'cause Mom says, "Put up with it, there's nothing I can do about it."

I really like it otherwise though. It makes me think of rolling in nice soft grass, not this scratchy, stiff stuff that people in Florida call grass. It's really weeds and everyone hates it, but I guess it's cheap and you can't kill it. Believe me, I pee all over it trying to turn it brown and it just sits there. Buttons does too and she hasn't had any better luck than me.

Sometimes Buttons will whisper to me, "Let's get Mom to take us out so we can work on killing some of that grass." So she rings the bells and out we go and water everything down and not one blade turns brown. It's kind of scary.

Now that my eyes are better, I'm going to have to get another haircut on Monday. Mom will probably take my picture when I get back so I can post it here for everyone to see how great I look in my new do. I'm going to a new groomer this time so maybe I'll like her better. The old one was OK but there were lots of dogs running around in there and that's kind of scary. Of course, the whole thing is scary, what can I say.

Mom tried and tried tonight to get me to take my pill, but I kept spitting it out. She's so funny. She kept trying to hide it in a little ball of food but I'd just drop the whole thing on the floor, sort the pill out, and eat the food. Then she decided she'd put the pill in the bowl with my food. But I still was able to sort it out and leave it in the bottom of the bowl. She even cut up a real people hot dog and stuck it in there and I spit it out! The pill finally melted down to almost nothing so I ate the crazy thing. Just to get Mom off the hook.

Gotta love that woman, she tries her best.

I Have Sick Eyes

I know, I know, I haven't posted on here for a long time. Actually I've been sick. Not that long but for 2 or 3 weeks now I guess. The vet guy (who has more hair on his face than I do, by the way) says that hair gets in between my eyes and rubs on my eyeballs (a hairy eyeball, if you will) and then when I blink my big brown eyes, it irritates them and I wind up with infected hairy eyeballs. Just great!

So Mom and Dad took me to this vet guy (the one with all the hair on his chin) and he took me away from them. I was scared out of my sox. And this is after another person tried to put some little stick up my behind to see if I had a temperature. Of course, I have a temperature, I'm alive arent' I? Geesh! What will they think of next?

Oh. Well. Now Mom says this person wanted to see if I had a fever. Still, I didn't like what she wanted to do with that little stick so I stuck my tail tight between my legs and grrred at her a bit and I just never have the nerve to do that, especially to people I don't even know. But do you know what? It worked and she left my tail alone! Whew!!!

So anyway, then the vet and this person took me down the hall and gave me a shot and the next thing I know, I'm lolling around with my tongue hanging out of my mouth, my face is all shaved and they're putting drops of glunk in my hairy eyeballs. It was horrible. Even worse than getting groomed, if you can imagine that.

And it didn't stop there. He gave Mom and Dad some of those drops and wanted them to drip them into my eyeballs all week long, all day long. But I flipped and flopped around so much the drops got all over the place instead of into my eyes. Heehee!

Now Mom wants to go to bed so I'll have to finish this story in another post I guess. It'll keep you on the edges of your seats, believe me. Buttons never has these problems. Guess it's the price I have to pay for being the most adorable Shih Tzu there is.

I Get Chased by a Dog Having a Heart Attack

I've mostly just been chillin' out today, which isn't easy since the temperatures have been around 100 degrees again today. I live in Florida, you know, and even though Mom says it hasn't been that hot anywhere else, it's been really hot here.

I also don't like the way the grass grows so fast this time of year. It's clear up under my tummy and when I hike my leg to do my job, it tickles me. AND I HATE IT!!!

Anyway, we did go for our golf cart ride but it got really cloudy, and I just knew it was going to storm. I crawled up Mom's chest and stuck my face in her armpit to save myself. So Dad drove us home, a dog chased us, it was just horrible. At least we made it home before it rained though. Whew.

OK, you're probably wondering why this dog chased us. Well, he was out in a bare spot along the side of the road with his Dad who had his arm in a sling (the goofy dog probably pulled his shoulder out of joint pulling on his leash). He was some big silly-looking pug kind of a thing with big bulging eyes and a lolling tongue, and I really thought he might have a heart attack right there in the middle of the street.

So I don't know if he saw Buttons and me in the cart with Mom and Dad or if he would just chase any old cart that came along. He did chase us though and he didn't even have a leash on! Oh, My, Gosh!! That is such a bad thing to be doing when you're outside. I ALWAYS have my leash on and so does Buttons when we go outdoors.

Of course, Buttons wanted to bark and jump around but Dad held onto her, and I was too scared to do anything. This monster was right there at the front wheel of the cart on MY side so you can imagine how scary it all was. He chased us until he was right on the verge of the heart attack - you could almost see his bulgy eyes rolling back in his head - and then he quit and his Dad called him back.

So, as you can see, even an innocent golf cart ride can turn into a very harrowing experience! But I love these rides so much, I'm not going to stay home. I'll just have to be brave and hide in Mom's armpit if the going gets too rough!